I meet clients within my Ballincollig and Midleton clinics that at times have lost the sense of themselves; they are struggling with the feelings of powerlessness and have lost their own sense of personal power.
When you lose your personal power it can possibly lead to feeling some of the following:
- Everything feels a bit empty.
- Nothing seems to motivate or excite you.
- Can feel numb or cold on the inside
- Feeling despondent and may ask at times what is the point?
- Can feel unappreciated and emotionally worn out.
This can happen either after a traumatic event, or steadily worn down after a series of stressful life events or on personal slow gradual erosion basis.
Some of the contributing factors that can have an effect on our personal power are the:
- Continuously looking after the needs of others and not looking after yours
- Not feeling good enough or worth the effort of looking after yourself.
- Trying to please everyone around you, except yourself.
- Lack of Self Care – Not taking care of yourself on all levels – Physical / emotional/ Mental etc.
- Over dependant on the approval others
- Low Self Esteem and Self worth
- Enduring difficult, challenging and toxic relationships.
If some of these sounds familiar – well maybe it’s your time to get back that personal power.
What is personal power?
Personal Power is about making choices and acting from a place where we take charge of our lives and making positive decisions based on what you want, your inner strengths and worthiness.
How to increase my Personal Power?
1. Begin to become more Self Aware of WHO you are Now, at this time and start to reconnect the relationship with yourself, listen and understand yourself more.
- What do I want in my life? What do I want more of in my Life, What do I want less of?
- What do I want to achieve?
- How do I speak to myself?
- How do I treat myself?
- What self-limiting beliefs do I have and some may not even be mine, but just someone else’s opinion.
- What are my proven strengths and abilities
- What are the challenges about me and do I sometimes sabotage myself or my plans?
2. Start feeding my own needs on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. The aim is have plenty of on the list of each of the main elements of Needs : Power – Control – Fun – Love
- How can I bring more Power into my life, what makes me feel self-empowered and gives me inner strength? What grounds me and makes me feel secure about me. For example; Learn to swim / drive, regular meet ups with my own friends, take up yoga, dance classes etc. etc.
- What gives me a sense of control over my life? For example; my independence and sense of purpose. Is it to have my own bank account, my own job, car etc.? Do I need new clothes or a new haircut? Do I need to eat healthier or exercise more?
- Fun – do I have enough fun in my life: What sources of fun do I have in my life? What makes me laugh, have adventure and enjoy myself?
- Love – do I have Love in my life and do I need more sources?
3. Be more aware and take more control of your inner thoughts, patterns and processes. We need to Mind our Minds. Do I think negatively about myself or about others? Do I criticise myself or judge myself or others harshly? Am I constantly worrying about past or future events or mistakes? Need to work on more helpful thinking and becoming more mindful.
4. Becoming more assertive about your needs and establishing healthy boundaries, in all types of relationships. Learning what are healthy elements of a relationship and what is not. Become aware of our own unhelpful behaviours and others that may not be so healthy.
Learn to be more self-compassionate, become more self-aware of our thoughts, emotions and sensations. Be a bit more understanding and kinder to ourselves, begin to accept ourselves as we are human beings and live more in the present without judgment.